Trucker jokes

Trucker Jokes Proceed at your own risk!

- These funny trucker jokes will make you laugh. They are the best you will find. 1. Trucker, Lawyer, and A Priest Trucker would amuse himself by. Trucker Jokes Gold Rush | Arthur Ross Romero | ISBN: | Kostenloser Versand für alle Bücher mit Versand und Verkauf duch Amazon. Schau dir unsere Auswahl an trucker jokes an, um die tollsten einzigartigen oder spezialgefertigten, handgemachten Stücke aus unseren Shops zu finden. Truck driver meme, semi trucking memes Lkw Fahrer Meme, Big Rig Trucks, Funny Trucker Jokes & Truck Driver Memes Truck Driver Parking Only Sign. Discover the magic of the internet at Imgur, a community powered entertainment destination. Lift your spirits with funny jokes, trending memes, entertaining gifs.

Trucker jokes

Pinterest. M ratings. Download. This hat is kosher. Jokes, Cool Stuff, Hats, Sombreros, Jokes Quotes. Product sold by krasnayapolyana.se Trucker Meme Review: Ten Memes All Truckers Understand | Sunbelt Finance. Trucker Meme Review: We all love a good chuckle once in a while, so today. Trucker Jokes Gold Rush | Arthur Ross Romero | ISBN: | Kostenloser Versand für alle Bücher mit Versand und Verkauf duch Amazon.

Later the truck driver sees the other driver, and following him are the penguins. The trucker is furious and shouts at him: "what are you doing?!

We had money left over so I brought them to the movies as well! Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?

So the employee asks him why he is laughing. The trucker says: "There is a Blond who tries to open her car with a coat hanger!

This could happen to anyone. A: the defendant Source: I'm a trucker. He says: - I just ran a pig over, what now?

The boss asks him: - Dead? Then the trucker disconnects, and later calls again. The boss asks him: - You buried it? I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a doctor because he'll treat her better.

I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a banker because he's a better long term investment. I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a mechanic because he'll know how to service her undercarriage.

I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a UPS deliveryman because he'll have a bigger package I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a sniper because he'll always want to take her out.

I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a trucker because he's in for the long haul. I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a town water inspector since he'll treat her well.

I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a midget because he under stands. As the trucker came down the hill with a fully-loaded rig, he spied a man and a woman having sex right in the middle of the highway!

He blew his air horn, but they didn't move, so he slammed on the brakes, stopping mere inches from them. Furious, he yelled from his cab, "Are you crazy?

What's wrong with you? Didn't you hear my horn? I damned near ran over you! And you were the only one who had brakes! A big gang of bikers come in after him.

They start to screw with the truck driver, throw food on him, etc, trying to start a fight or something. However the trucker doesn't fight back or say anything at all really.

Finally he gets up, pays his bill, and leaves. After he is gone the leader of the gang says to the waitress, "He wasn't much of a man, was he?

And handed him a 10 dollar bill. The second trucker asked "What's the 10 for good buddy? As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.

She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.

Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door.

The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load! When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde.

The waitress brings him a soup. Meanwhile, three bikers enter the cafe. While passing the trucker, they each spit into his soup. Silently, the trucker pays and leaves the cafe.

One of the bikers then says to the waitress, 'What an idiot! Can't even stand for himself! Only left the parking lot and already wrecked 3 motorcycles!

Welcome, sir, the lady in charge says. How can I assist you? The man puts down a large wad of cash in front of her, and says, Get me the most slovenly and whiny girl that can't cook well either.

The woman eyes the money, and responds, But sir, you could have the best, most exotic girl and a gourmet dinner for that much.

I don't need an exotic experience, I need the one that feels like home! The man yells. There is a trucker who hates lawyers so much he always runs them over with his truck whenever he sees one.

Inside, was an elderly trucker, eating a pie by himself. The first man walked up to him and spit in his pie. The second man shoves his cigarette into his pie, and the third man knocks it onto the ground.

Without a word, he leaves the gas station. The first man says, "He wasnt much of a man. He just ran over 3 motorcycles while backing out.

Is driving in a winter storm. When he stops at a red light, a blonde lady jumps out of the car behind him, runs up to his truck, knocks on his window and says, "you are losing some of your load!

The same thing happens again at the next two lights. Finally at yet another red light, he gets out of his truck, walks back to her car, and tells her, "lady, stop telling me that I'm losing my load.

I'm driving a salt truck! Two truckers stop and pick him up. They're driving along and the trucker driving farts. It's completely silent.

Then the trucker sitting next to him farts, and it makes no sound at all. The hitchhiker farts, and it's loud enough to shake the whole cab.

Both the truckers turn and yell "virgin! Did you hear about the blonde who tried to kill her trucker husband? She cut the lines to his truck's air brakes.

It says "Clearance: 7 feet" One trucker says to the other, "My truck's 7' 5". A few thousand potential children were thrown across the vehicle before being ejected through an open window.

A little bit of trucker humor, only I'm not a trucker, so you figure it out. Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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On the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions.

I got a job as a garbage truck driver. It was quite the spectacle. How can you tell if your wife is cheating on you with a Swift driver?

One time Chuck Norris peed in the radiator of a semi-truck. We now know that truck as Optimus Prime. A truck carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on the highway.

Strangely enough, there was no congestion. A truck carrying blackberries spilled on the highway. It was quite a traffic jam. A truck carrying olive oil spilled on the highway.

It was a vicious situation. The felon is still at large. A truck transporting biohazards spilled on the highway. It was a bloodbath. A truck transporting ice cream spilled on the highway.

There was some rocky road. A truck carrying tennis gear spilled on the highway. It made quite the racket. A truck carrying computers rigged as explosives spilled on the highway.

They had to call in a minesweeper. A truck carrying cannabis spilled on the highway. It tripped on a pothole. A truck carrying camping gear spilled on the highway.

The truck had jackknifed. A truck carrying money spilled on the highway. There was a million dollars in damage.

A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. It cost him a lot of time. A truck carrying guns spilled on the highway.

Fortunately, nobody was armed in the accident. A truck carrying construction tools spilled on the highway. The driver had laid the hammer down too hard.

A truck carrying burger buns spilled on the highway. It became the talk of sesame street. A truck spilled on the highway the most music CDs that have ever been spilled before.

It was a new record. A truck carrying apparel spilled on the highway. The trucker was safe, thanks to a belt.

A truck carrying lions and elephants spilled on the highway. The whole thing was a circus.

Trucker jokes

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Trucker Jokes -

Der Rennstallbesitzer schaut sich das an Stammbaum, Rasse, Evolutionäre Entwicklung A trucker pulls over to the side of the highway after 22 straight hours of driving, locks the doors and settles down for a few hours sleep. Try this | The internet's funniest jokes, memes, quotes and pictures. Humor, jokes, funny memes and other crazy stuff. Trucker Jokes One-Liners | Bored? Dec 20, - krasnayapolyana.se Super Tr - US Trailer Kudo S To Batesville Casket Alan Creedy ~ Truck Driver Jokes Texting While. Trucker Meme Review: Ten Memes All Truckers Understand | Sunbelt Finance. Trucker Meme Review: We all love a good chuckle once in a while, so today. US Trailer Rental & Storagei'm a trucker quotes · New humor deutsch bilder ideas Image Facebook, Funny Jokes, Hilarious, Cool Pictures. Happy Monday! It's time for Trucker Joke of the Week! #havealaugh #​instafunny #truckdriverjokes #jokes #dailyjokes #truckerlife #truckingjobs. On one side, there was an enormous festival, with thousands of people, and on Volleyball girls in short shorts pictures other side, there was one kid playing with a Public agent asian. Trucker's Order Hot 2 years ago. A Erika jordan nude trucker was returning home for the holidays He was looking forward to seeing his family. I'm always afraid my wife will leave me for a trucker because he's in for the long haul. The second Women group masterbation shoves his cigarette into his pie, and the Beautiful sexy ebony women man knocks it onto the ground. Trucker: Just to warn

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Trucker Jokes

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A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner one day to grab some lunch. He ordered a cheeseburger, a coffee and a slice of apple pie.

As I was driving to work this morning, this truck driver swerved right through the traffic, cutting up the other road users before smashing into the back of a car.

An Aussie truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road. So the hitch-hiker lies down and is soon asleep.

A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it he comes to a the low bridge and gets stuck under it. The cars are backed up for miles behind him.

Eventually, a cop car pulls up. The cop gets out and walks around to the truck driver. This one truck driver would often amuse himself by running over lawyers.

One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch-hiking. Climb in. At the last second, he thought of the priest with him and realized he couldn't run over the lawyer, so he swerved.

But he heard a thump anyway. Looking back as he drove on, he did A truck drivers wife is standing buck naked staring at herself in the mirror She says to herself "I'm fat and wrinkly, my skin is old and weather worn, my hair is falling out and I just don't feel beautiful anymore" She turns to her husband and says 'Honey, I'm fat and wrinkly, my skin is old and weather worn, my hair is falling out and I just don't feel beautiful any What do a truck driver and a slightly aroused man have in common?

They both have a semi. A tow truck driver is pulling a lady out of the ditch He says to her "you are the second pregnant lady I've pulled out of the ditch today".

With a bit of confusion she hastily replies "I am not pregnant". He pauses and calmly states "you are not out of the ditch yet".

Truck driver found a genie Genie: I grant you one wish. Genie: Well, that's a governmental issue. Many states and federal agencies involved.

I can't grant you that. Anything else for sure. Driver: How about my wife liking my family. Every time he saw a lawyer walk by the road he would swing over and run them over with his truck.

One day while he was out driving, he saw a priest walk by the side of the road. Thinking it could not hurt to help a servant of god he stopped and asked the pr The truck driver parked his truck and went over to A truck driver had stopped for dinner at a cafe in a small town Some of the regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the air.

A truck driver is heading west across the Arizona desert. He has been driving all night, and as the sun starts to rise, he feels the need to stop and commune with nature.

He pulls to the side of the road, parks, and walks out into the sage brush. As he is standing there, looking around at the beauty of the early morning, he notices a lever sticking out of the ground.

After a few moments, he walks over, walks all the way around, and then reaches out to grasp the le So a truck driver is driving through the country when he sees a penguin in the middle of the road He pulls over and looks around, but can't see anyone.

So he picks up the penguin, puts him in the cab of his truck, and continues on his way. A couple of miles down the road he gets pulled over by a cop.

The cop walks up to the truck and asks, "What are you doing with that penguin in your c Angry truck driver demands a blond to pull over A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver.

He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde to stand in the circ A blonde cuts off a truck driver on the highway He runs up to the blonde and starts yelling at her.

The truck driver draws a circle on the pavement and tells the blonde stay there. Then, the truck driver starts smashing her windshield.

He looks back at the blonde and she's smi A truck driver carrying 6 penguins got into an accident A car driver stop by and ask if everybody is alright.

The truck driver says to the car driver if he could help and take the 6 penguins to the Zoo for him, while he fixes his truck.

The car driver more than happy to help, takes the 6 penguins and leave. Few days later, the t An Aussie truck driver walks into an outback cafe with a full grown emu.

The waitress asks them for their orders. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi retire. A truck driver stops at a gas station with a penguin in the passenger seat. The owner from the gas station asks where the penguin comes from.

Truck Driver Got in off the road last friday. I said "boy what are doin'? He said, "I' A man and a woman were dating. She, being of a religious nature, had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so badly.

In fact, he had never even seen her naked. One day, as they slowly drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits.

For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [60 MPH] you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing. An optimist, a pessimist and a realist are standing next to each other.

The optimist sees light. The pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel. The realist sees a truck at the end of a tunnel.

The truck driver sees three idiots which he's about to run over. A wealthy old man lays on his death bed, his 3 sons by his side.

Each of you take a duck to the market. A good price for A truck driver walks into a bar He tells the bartender "give me a whiskey, straight up".

The bartender pours him a whiskey, the truck driver takes it, sloshes it around in his mouth, and spits it out on the floor.

He asks the bartender for another. The bartender obliges and pours him another whiskey. Once again, the truck driver s He has a pet parrot who is with him in the front part of the truck.

After some driving a female hitchhiker tries to stop the truck. The truck driver asks her: "Will you sleep with me? Old Mr.

Blaustein goes to a restaurant.. The waiter keeps his face but can't help himself uttering "Yesterday your son ate here and he left 50 dollar tip!

Chemical Plant Fire One dark night outside a small town a fire started inside the local chemical plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments from miles around.

After fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, "All of ou Dressing Up A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.

After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow! A hitchhiker gets picked up by a trucker with a bullfrog on his dashboard.

The hitchhiker guy stares at the bullfrog for a while, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver just grins.

After a while, the truck driver decides to show him what's what. He pulls over by the side of the road. A border custom officer saw a suspicious truck at the check post.

The officer immediately asked the Truck driver to bring the truck aside for a complete check up. And he was right.

The man watches him for a bit as he repeats this over and over. Finally the man w Me and Leroy A old southern,slow-talking' truck driver answers an ad in the paper for an OTR position.

He goes into meet with the supervisor. The supervisor knows they need drivers bad, so he cuts off the entire interview and says: Supervisor: "Look, if you can pass your certification test, the job is you A trucker is driving down a random stretch of highway He happens upon a billboard while driving that reads Peaches, engineered for your taste!

Only 10 miles! Mildly intrigued, the driver decides to check out what this means. What do you call a trucker that doesn't drive anymore?

Where do the Mexican truckers hang out? The guay station. The cowboy A lady sees a cowboy and says "are you really a cowboy? Three men get their wives birthday presents.

A trucker was driving down the highway On the railing was a woman, who appeared as if she was about to jump off.

The trucker stopped, ran up to the woman and yelled, "No! Don't do this! It's not worth it! One more step closer and I'm jumping for sure!

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe.. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards.

A trucker walks into a diner and orders a sandwich. After a few minutes he gets his order and starts eating quietly, bothering nobody.

Three bikers enter the diner and the smallest one walks over to the trucker's table and picks up his sandwich and takes a big, drooling bite.

The whole time he chews he just stares down, mean and ugly, at the t He protests "Hey, wait a minute! Haven't you got something else?

Something a little 'special'? Dressing Up A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.

After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow! How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin? They use a Milwaukee-Talkie.

A longhaul trucker with a trailer full of chickens is driving to Chicago A long haul trucker with a trailer full chickens is driving to Chicago with a parrot on the dashboard.

As he's driving, he sees a woman at the side of the road with her thumb out. He pulls over to the side, and the woman gets in.

Trucker: Do you have money? Woman: No. Truck: Su A trucker walks into a bar demanding 2 beers This goes on for about 10 minutes, till the barkeeper asks him "Buddy are you ok?

Bill's new car Bill decides after saving for a few years to finally buy a new red Lamborghini. He's so excited about it that he decides to go out and try it out on the highway.

As he's zooming down the highway, he sees a trucker up ahead slowing traffic, and decides to show off his new car by cutting the tr The Farmer and the Magical Trucker It was a bright sunny day, and the Farmer was tending his fields as usual.

Around noon, a Trucker rolled up, stopping beside the field the farmer was working that day. Mind if I grab myself some jars of honey?

A trucker and a blonde. A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway.

The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The tru A confused mother watches her 4 year old son A confused mother watches her 4 year old son.

He then repeats this, over and over. He is about half way down the stairs when finally Some truckers have a dog for company A trucker is driving West across Texas, haulin' a trailer full of chickens, with his pet parrot in the cab.

While driving through Dallas he sees a beautiful woman on the side of road, leg hiked up, thumb out. He stops and looks at her.

A long-haired youth was hitchhiking A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South.

He got a ride from a mean looking redneck trucker. After riding about 30 miles in silence, the youth finally said, "Well, aren't you going to ask me?

Too far in A couple has been dating for a few months. The only thing that annoys the guy is that the girl is making him wait before he takes the relationship to a physical level.

In fa Jesus is bored in heaven and decides to take a vacation to Earth He thinks hitchhiking could be fun, so he disguises himself as an average looking American and flies down from heaven onto a highway in Nebraska.

He sticks his thumb out and after a little while, an wheeler pulls over to offer a ride. He climbs in the cab, tells the driver he's headed west and A wish gone awry An Aussie trucker walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders. The trucker says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?

A short time A Blond walks into a gas station Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?

So the employee asks him why he is laughing. The trucker says: "There is a Blond who tries A nun was hitchhiking and the truck driver decided to give her a lift Nun kept saying how grateful she was and if there's anything she could do in return.

The trucker was a bit shy at first, but finally admitted: - "Well, you know how lonely these roads can get, and we truckers really like to make some love on the way.

And to be honest, I've never had sex with I was giving my cat a bath for the first time. She just loved it. It was good for me, it was good for the cat.

It gave us some precious time together we desperately needed. Ahh,the look on her cute little face was enough to make a trucker melt.

The fur got stuck to my tounge,but other than that it was ok. Probably the grossest joke I've ever heard.

He's sweeping floors and wiping tables, when there's a knock at the door. He opens the door and standing there is the filthiest bum he's ever seen.

The bum says, "say fella, could you give me a fork? Inside, was an elderly trucker, eating a pie by himself.

The first man walked up to him and spit in his pie. The second man shoves his cigarette into his pie, and the third man knocks it onto the ground.

Without a word, he leaves the gas st Honk if you love jesus! The other day I went to the local religious book store and I saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.

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